tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post8831458721049500462..comments2024-03-21T06:49:37.765-05:00Comments on Orthodox, Gay and Married Jew: I am now out...Frum, Gay and Marriedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-50623406017487890132012-08-18T20:24:14.221-05:002012-08-18T20:24:14.221-05:00Just in case you thought the idiots were in hiding...Just in case you thought the idiots were in hiding....Frum, Gay and Marriedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-85731496184694112952012-08-17T18:41:40.279-05:002012-08-17T18:41:40.279-05:00There is no such thing as gayness... U obviously j...There is no such thing as gayness... U obviously just need the attention...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-53604408941406735782012-08-17T16:02:25.675-05:002012-08-17T16:02:25.675-05:00You bring up some valid points.
(Please read my l...You bring up some valid points.<br /><br />(Please read my last blog post to answer some of your points)<br /><br />http://frumgaymarried.blogspot.com/2012/08/dont-feel-bad-commenting-go-right-ahead.html<br /><br />Right now, I will not go into the question about why gay men choose to come out. I will comment on that another time because I do not have an issue with that.<br /><br />What I will do, is share with you my personal experience.<br /><br />I did not choose to come out, I was out outed by certain community members.<br /><br />I made two mistakes. The first was to vocally show support for gay people when rabbis in town chose to cancel a forum that was supposed to teach people sensitivity and compassion for gay people. That in and of itself would not have put up any red flags toward my sexuality.<br /><br />The second "mistake", was to not fight with my wife. I know this sounds silly, but not fighting with my wife, and being her best friend, and having a great marriage, did not allow people to put our divorce in perspective. Many people from community members to my family to my wife's family could not understand if we loved each other so much why we would get divorced. We would try to comfort others by telling them that even though we are going through this, we are best friends and love each other. Again, this is confusing. There then started speculation and people started putting this and my first "mistake" together, and actually started asking my wife if I was gay. Why my wife and not me, I don't understand. (As an aside, if you think someones gay, don't as their spouse and don't ask the person themselves for that matter.)<br /><br />Before I knew it, people on the street were talking about the fact that I was gay. Know that every move we have made has been with asking Rabbonim as well as therapists what we should do next. I was advised that at this point it made sense to tell both my children and our families what the truth was so that they don't hear it from others. This was one of the most harrowing and difficult choices of my life, but I followed through on it. As you can see my wife has been amazing and my children incredibly strong. This extends to my family as well, and they have been incredibly supportive; both mine and my wife's.<br /><br />To the question about why I chose to get divorced and not stay married, that is a personal question that I will not address. All I can say, is that there are two parties to be sensitive to when a decision is made whether to stay married or not. Both have needs that have to be met.<br /><br />Thank you again for asking your questions with sensitivity.Frum, Gay and Marriedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-87817470119509814192012-08-17T13:25:19.190-05:002012-08-17T13:25:19.190-05:00I have read through your blog and though I am not ...I have read through your blog and though I am not gay. I find it interesting how you wrote your struggle with it. <br />What I can't understand if you don't plan on acting on your homosexual taaivos. Why don't you stay married for the sake of your children. Why did you choose to come out? You and your wife would've known and that's allAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-58929513928742621642012-08-17T12:15:10.253-05:002012-08-17T12:15:10.253-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Frum, Gay and Marriedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-85813033391167959752012-08-17T11:43:15.778-05:002012-08-17T11:43:15.778-05:00Why am I not surprised that there is no response t...Why am I not surprised that there is no response to the last few comments? You are a coward. Frum, Gay and Marriedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-84505478894708435392012-08-16T12:32:21.413-05:002012-08-16T12:32:21.413-05:00As an aside; You will be dan in shamayim for being...As an aside; You will be dan in shamayim for being dan me and saying Motzei shem ra. I have had gedolei hadar tell me this is the case. Talk about teshuva... Feel free to email me privately to ask for mechila. festerfest123@gmail.comFrum, Gay and Marriedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-54959800844592392522012-08-16T12:22:36.313-05:002012-08-16T12:22:36.313-05:00Thank you for allowing to make a point. Here is th...Thank you for allowing to make a point. Here is the problem with the frum community. They don't make a distinction between an inclination and the act. I have NEVER in my life done what the torah says is assur. R' Dovid Cohen and Reb Shmuel Kamenetsky both said the same thing in reference to me personally. That if I waled into thei room they would stand up for me. R'Cohen continued to say that if I withstadn this test I will have gan eden for me and my family for netzach netzachim. His words. <br /><br />Now you please respond and tell me your thoughts. Please read all my blog poss before you respond. Al tadin es ha'adam ad shetagiya l'mkomo.Frum, Gay and Marriedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-1556646233368629902012-08-16T12:05:27.557-05:002012-08-16T12:05:27.557-05:00its really sad that your getting support for being...its really sad that your getting support for being a public avaryon. the torah calls is an abomonation and you run around trying to make it ok. people like you are destroying judaism. dont call me close minded for not being able to accept what you are doing as a jew if its 100% assur min hatorah. i hope you do tshuva. please post this to show the "other side" of the argument Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-9843790348231921522012-08-16T09:54:41.927-05:002012-08-16T09:54:41.927-05:00When I said. Gay old man I meant old man as in the...When I said. Gay old man I meant old man as in their dadAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-39043619585576332532012-08-16T09:38:34.165-05:002012-08-16T09:38:34.165-05:00It's amazing what people can write under the c...It's amazing what people can write under the cloak of anonymity. If people have negative things to say and know me, they should have the courage to say who they are. Frum, Gay and Marriedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-54596515871191706192012-08-16T09:34:11.148-05:002012-08-16T09:34:11.148-05:00Wow. "gay old man". That was very sensit...Wow. "gay old man". That was very sensitive. Thanks for the chizzuk. :-(Frum, Gay and Marriedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-524884746838695732012-08-16T08:18:29.656-05:002012-08-16T08:18:29.656-05:00I know you from before you moved too ..... you whe...I know you from before you moved too ..... you where always a great guy. About a week ago I heard you were getting divorced and I was flabbergasted how could it be you guys always looked so happy? Well today I understand while there is some criticism I have on your story I will not share it. Your story is very inspiring go make sure that you have a therapist that will deal with you whenever needed. It is bad enough that yourkids will spend there life in a divorced home they don't need there gay old man committing suicide too. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-91129641682917866542012-08-16T01:10:09.121-05:002012-08-16T01:10:09.121-05:00In what capacity do you think I am crazy? Does my ...In what capacity do you think I am crazy? Does my writing imply mental illness? Please do explain rather than posting 3 words without having the courage or middos (manners) to respect and ask like a humble and sensitive person.<br /><br />PS I have the ability to choose to publish or not publish peoples comments. I chose to publish yours to demonstrate exactly what the reason why frum gay people commit suicide, leave Judaism and suffer a life of pain and depression.Frum, Gay and Marriedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734786242945343071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-32939544861426310392012-08-16T00:59:09.219-05:002012-08-16T00:59:09.219-05:00are you crazy?
are you crazy?<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-55917767892306165382012-08-07T18:47:09.804-05:002012-08-07T18:47:09.804-05:00in answer to "anonymous", it depends on ...in answer to "anonymous", it depends on which frum community you are talking about. There is a range of communities out there... try to choose one that is accepting!Michael (San Francisco)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-53403480486418287092012-08-06T20:17:59.997-05:002012-08-06T20:17:59.997-05:00I think it's great that you have a family that...I think it's great that you have a family that is supportive and that you feel happy. That's what matters most. <br /><br />The frum community isn't exactly inspiring, unfortunately.<br /><br />But, you do.<br /><br />Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-77342554677607314622012-08-06T07:58:12.213-05:002012-08-06T07:58:12.213-05:00Mazel TovMazel Tovalexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13167871580361353668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-9444881065476300622012-08-06T07:56:32.136-05:002012-08-06T07:56:32.136-05:00Mazel Tov. I'm very happy to hear that things ...Mazel Tov. I'm very happy to hear that things worked out great between you and your family. Good luck on your journey.alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13167871580361353668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5566864259419461961.post-20777540393263114342012-08-06T07:55:03.610-05:002012-08-06T07:55:03.610-05:00Mazel TovMazel Tovalexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13167871580361353668noreply@blogger.com