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Introduction... (The first blog post in 2011)...

I am a frum, gay & married male who feels compelled to share. Let me get this out of the way, when I say I am gay ,  I will qualify it...

Thursday, December 24, 2015

"I came out to my wife... A new chapter...."

Is it really 4 years since I came out to my wife? I wrote this post a day after. When I think about it, I almost relive it. The intensity of the pain I felt in that moment was tangible. I was so very close to saying goodbye to the world. I was so close to ending it all... Somehow I found the strength to open up and share. My wife's reaction and our support for each other and our family is what kept us going.

Here is a re-blog of that post.

I came out to my wife... A new chapter....

1 comment:

  1. Dear Brave, Intelligent, Honourable person you:

    I was up into the middle of the night reading your blog through three times. It was deeply moving, and such a brave thing to do. I was stunned with incredulity and joy by your ex-wife's actions. Honestly, who could expect it? And it illuminates like nothing else your fine character as a husband, father and man of faith.

    1. I have a 19 year old son who is not indicating his sexual orientation. We are committed to accept whichever way he turns. We wait and wait but nothing tells us where his mindset it. The problem is trying to keep inclusive language -- which is tricky! 'when you go on a date with a girl...um, well if you wanted to go on a date with someone'. I imagine you understand the difficulty here with all the labelling. Do you think we are right in saying absolutely nothing? His uncle, and best adult friend, is gay. Would it be acceptable that his uncle asks him, or just leave it alone?

    2. Could you please indicate to me how you are currently doing; i.e. just simply a sentence that you managing ok with your family life, your religious community and especially your decisions regarding how to incorporate your sexuality into your faith. I do not want to be intrusive; maybe you could do an update on your blog stating this? If I'm being really honest, I want to know if you have found emotional intimacy of some sort with a man that is bringing you happiness.

    3. As a side point: I have 'severe chronic mental illness' (ouch! my medical label) in the form of bipolar disorder. I have never been a crazy person, never hospitalised but I live with the stigma of this illness in a massive way. Everything that you wrote about touches my heart as I too hide from people my internal life, or risk derision. Our culture does not accept this problem either; all the while they cannot see my acute bipolar depression that has driven me to the brink of suicide on two occasions. These are 'fixed forever' unable to change situations and there is no safe place for acceptance beyond the therapist's office.

    The age of the internet and blogging makes it possible to emotionally attach to people you only meet through the written word. It feels like I have met you in a prayer group and you have a hold on my heart. I know your blog has quieted down, but maybe you could post a paragraph every now and again saying how it is going. We won't forget you.

    thanks.....i can't begin to tell you how much i hope you are doing well......