Update on being "out" relating to this blog...

I am having a hard time understanding something. I usually get 30-50 hits a day on this blog (There are stat trackers). My community started to talk about my sexuality on Monday. That day my blog got 400 hits. Tuesday had me receive 800 hits. Wednesday 1400 hits and so far at only noon on Thursday there are over 1300 hits.

I don't know if this blog will go viral but I will tell you that if I save one person from hurting themselves, depression or pain, I will have accomplished everything. One life, physically, emotionally or spiritually will be worth every negative email and comment I get and I have gotten many. Kol hamatzil nefesh echad ke'illu hetzil olam malle. I have also gotten amazing expressions of support from people so close to me and people from my past. 

I will be publishing (without their names) many emails, texts, conversation and comments on both side of the spectrum as time goes on.

Blogspot gives a general source of where people come from like Facebook and Google. It also says the key words people are searching. The primary source of people coming to my blog right now is Google. This means that people who never had perspective on this in the past are searching the words "frum gay" or frum, married and gay" etc to find information. This tells me that people are searching for perspective and information. I will continue to do what I have always done which is smile through my pain, lift people who are down up and support people who need it.

(Anyone looking for support in this area or in general is always welcome to email me at festerfest123@gmail.com, anonymously or not.)

When these blog hits came in hard I asked my wife if she wanted me to take this down because of the personal nature of the information. She said to me and I paraphrase "The blog was what helped get you to where you are today. It would be a shame for you to take it down". What a hero. She continued by saying how people can gain so much by this and I should leave it up. Anyone who knows me knows that it is not my nature to flaunt. I can tell you though for the sake of understanding that many struggling gay men, both married, divorced and single have reached out to tell me that I inspire them. Some people have told me I have said that I give them inspiration to live. I share the credit for this with my beautiful wife.

As the song goes;

I'm bulletproof, nothing to losefire away, fire awayricochet, you take your aimfire away, fire awayyou shoot me down, but I won't fallI am titaniumyou shoot me down, but I won't fallI am titanium