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I am a frum, gay & married male who feels compelled to share. Let me get this out of the way, when I say I am gay ,  I will qualify it...

Monday, December 10, 2012

Lesson that I learned (once again) today...

I've spoken about the concept of how a small gesture can uplift someones world. A touch, a hug or a phone call. If a friend mentioned something to you a month ago that was bothering him, send him a text, an email or give him a call to ask about it. Inevitably he will say, "You remembered?" and feel like a million dollars.

Back to the hug. I don't mean the big masculine hug where you barely touch chests and bang each other twice on the back. Even straight guys can appreciate a a hug where another guy wraps his arms around you and squeezes. That's a beautiful mode of communication. It builds someone up. It motivates them to do the same to others. It might take what was a lousy day and give them a 'pep in their step' for the rest of the day or longer.

On the other side is the passive aggressive nature of some (many times subconsciously) . When you are down and going through what seems to be difficult challenges and you knows your friend(s) are aware. Yet they don't reach out. It might be someone that you lifted up in the past but now that he is down he has forgotten you. The friend doesn't send you a text saying, 'I'm thinking about you'. Or a text saying, 'I love you and wish I could be there with you but I am going through some stuff myself'. We have to remember that not everyone who goes through a hard time always wants to talk but they still want to feel love. I am not saying that we are by nature altruistic but we can still make someone feel good even if we aren't getting anything seemingly in return.

I learned this lesson today... Unfortunately I was on the other side of the coin... And I cried... It hurt... It could have been so easy for him... And I cried some more...

I will do my best to be there for others who need it, to give you a word, a hug or simply touch your hand. I am sorry if I haven't been there if you have needed me. I will try to better myself in this area.


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